Attention Food Service Employees

Attention Subway Sandwich Artists, Starbucks Baristas, or any other clever name you call yourself to disguise the fact that you are touching my food:

I realize being in an industry where you constantly take orders from people and receive offensively low tips can’t be a lot of fun. That being said, can you please remember you are touching food?

Have you ever been to Subway and seen the people basically mutilate your sandwich while you stand helplessly on the other side of the sneeze guard then try not to grimace as they wrap it as tightly as possible in wrap? I’m sorry. I thought I ordered a sandwich, not some vacuum packed astronaut food.

How about going to a fast food burger place and seeing back into the kitchen? Is it just me or have you seen public restrooms that look cleaner than some of those kitchens. The most disturbing part is you can LITERALLY see every step they take so you can see the grayish “patty” of meat get thrown on the grill by a kid who is probably too young to legally work there, before being tossed over to the bun station where a 400 pound woman places it on a bun with cheese while sitting on her rascal scooter, then kicked over to the condiment station where a pierced and tat-ed kid puts a thin leaf of lettuce, about 2 pickles, and three galloons of ketchup on your burger, where finally it is handed to the special needs worker who smushes it with her fist and wraps it up so half the burger is hanging out the side. Lastly, they push it down the shoot where the same person who has been touching people’s dirty money and credit cards all day puts it on your tray and says “have a nice day”.

Geez, I feel like I am having PTSD from that story.

Finally, to the wait staff at sit down restaurants: I know that you have a really tough job that you really don’t get paid enough for but get your sh*t together! Why is it that when I am having a great meal and really don’t need any help you ask, “can I get you anything else?” at least once every two minutes but when I actually could use something, you are nowhere to be found? Also, when my plate still has half of my food on it and I still have a fork in my hands, you probably don’t need to ask “are you still working on that?” Conversely, when I am leaned all the way back in my seat with my eyes glazed over and my plate has literally been licked clean, you don’t need to ask, “are you done with that” because, unless your plates are edible, I don’t have a choice but to be done.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally respect what food service workers do, but food service workers need to respect that I’ll have to take my business to another place if I find a hair in my food.

Just saying.