Grammys Recap Part 1

This past Sunday was the 52^nd annual Grammy Awards (please note, I have no idea what number it actually was but 52^nd sounds nice so let’s roll with it).

And I am proud ashamed to admit I watched the entire thing. And most of the red carpet.

This was all done so if I heard someone say, “Did you see the Grammys?”

I could say, “Oh yeah, I watched like five minutes of it.”

“Did you see [insert tacky/surprising/embarrassing moment here]?”

“Yeah! That was the only part I saw! Wasn’t it [fill in appropriate adjective here]”

For those of you who looked like complete fools around the water cooler the next day because you missed show; have no fear. I’m here to help you out.

Red Carpet: A few people looked pretty. Everyone talked about Whitney Houston and tried to hold back tears. E! had a few shameless plugs for their terrible reality shows (Khloe and Lamar premieres soon!). Lots of people tried to look crazy in order to outdo Lady Gaga. Speaking of Lady Gaga, either she skipped the red carpet or got trapped under Nicki Minaj’s weird Catholic Bishop/Little Red Riding Hood hybrid outfit.

Springsteen Performance: Bruuuuuuuce! 1^st thought, “Cool, Springsteen is opening!” 2^nd thought, “Why is Springsteen opening?” 3^rd thought, “Why isn’t he playing one of the 10 songs of his I know?” 4^th thought, “Eh, his songs all sound pretty much the same. I can get into this.” Also, my roommates are from Jersey. Ergo, their blood runs Red, White, and Boss. They informed me the song was alright but not one of his best ones. They’re from Jersey. I trust that.

And I... will always love you

Bruno Mars: Not a fan of the music and secretly wish he would actually catch a grenade but hey, the kid’s got some pretty sweet 50’s style moves. Also, his teeth are really white.

Alicia Keys and Bonnie Raitt: “Ebony and Ivory live together in perfect harmony…” Just kidding. They sounded great and did a nice Etta James tribute.

Chris Brown: The music: average. The dance moves: above average. The lip-syncing: terrible. The chances I’m going to forget that he beat his girlfriend: zero.

"Oh. You all still remember that?"

Rihanna and Coldplay: 1^st thought, “Hmm Rihanna and Coldplay? Sounds cool!” 2^nd thought, “Why does Rihanna’s hair look like she stepped out of a bad 80’s movie?” 3^rd thought, “This sounds terrible. Please make it stop.” Lesson learned here: not every collaboration sounds good. Also, don’t forget to dye your roots.

LL Cool J: I know he didn’t perform but I couldn’t leave him out of my wrap up. LL served the important role of GRAMMY HOST! I mean, without him, the show couldn’t go on! Except for the fact that the Grammys haven’t had a host for the past 7 years. The reinstatement of a host was an unnecessary and hardly-subtle plug for whatever television show he’s on. LL, mama said, “knock YOU out.”

"Come on, guys. You need me, right?"

Don’t go anywhere! Part 2 of my Grammys’ recap will be posted tomorrow! Seriously. Don’t go anywhere. Stay on this page and keep refreshing until tomorrow.