I almost didn’t get around to writing a blog this week. I had prior commitments.
And by “prior commitments” I mean reading countless pages of mind-numbingly boring articles to the point where I cried tears of blood (#humblebrag)
But then I thought to myself, “what would you, oh humble readers, do without me in your life?”
But THEN I thought, “what about all those poor people in third world countries who don’t even know their savior (me) is here on earth?”
That got me to thinking about how much it would suck to live in third world countries!
I mean, aside from the starvation, disease, and genocide… they don’t even have Twilight to make fun of!
The people there don’t have access to clean water meaning they can’t shower or brush their teeth. I shower at least once a day if for no other reason than my hair becomes disgustingly greasy about 12 minutes after it’s dry. If I lived in one of these places, my hair would so greasy that I could fry up some McDonalds’ French fries with it.
You know, if they had French fries there.
There is also the extremely limited job potential. You’re pretty much stuck with Dictator, Activist murdered by age 30, or adopted child of a celebrity.
They don’t even know how good at basketball they are! (Settle down. That was a joke)
Honestly, what would suck the most is being surrounded by the swarming wasps.
And when I say “WASP” I don’t mean the insect. I’m talking White Anglo-Saxon Protestants.
Don't worry, 3rd world! We're here to help... Right after our polo match
While I know a few truly good, kind people who have gone to some third world countries and actually done good, the majority are entitled rich people going over there for a chance at fluffing their resumes or looking for a charity to show their public mindedness (Oprah, I’m looking at you).
If you’re at all interested, look into these projects to see what you can do to help.
And hey, do you like what I did here? I didn’t really have the time to write a decently funny blog but by making it a humanitarian themed one you guys will all feel like assholes if you say anything! (Seriously though, they are important causes and you should at least read up on them)
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