A Salt and Pepper Man

I have a confession to make.

I have a thing for salt and pepper.

I love a silver fox.

Basically what I’m saying is I enjoy older men. (In theory. I would like to publicly state that I am not currently nor have I ever dated an older gentleman. But hey, a girl can dream)

Sue me.

Here’s a few reasons I prefer a Patrick Dempsey to a Zak Efron (other than for the obvious reason that Patrick Dempsey never starred in a Nicholas Sparks movie)

Hey, remember this exact same scene from that other movie?

1. Their children are already grown up

If there is one thing I hate, it is the idea of having to shove an 8 pound slippery bowling ball out of my lady parts. I know it’s the circle of life but that doesn’t mean I need to participate in that circle. (I always identified with Scar more than Simba/Mufasa). With a Salt and Peppa fella, they’ve already had all the kids they want to by the time I get to them. Plus, the children are already grown up and require nothing out of me more than a wine and cheese tray at Christmas.

See you next Christmas. Have a good life. 

2. They have more life experiences

            Not to be that person but they had pretty cool things back in the day. World news like the breaking down of the Berlin Wall. Desert Storm. The Sid and Nancy debacle. They remember when MTV played music instead of promoted STDs and Guidos. They lived when cell phones were still bricks and the internet had pop-up porn ads every three seconds (aka the Good Ole Days). Not to mention, older men have other life experiences (start video at 1:30) uh uh-uh uh.

3. They probably have money

            I’m a fairly to mostly lazy person. I enjoy having things handed to me on a silver platter without having to put in any work to get them. After all, that is the America Dream. And the way I figure it, an older gentleman is already established in life. Rather than starting out in a one room walk-up, I can start my married life in an Upper East Side penthouse. Call me shallow. Call me materialistic. Tell me money isn’t all that matters.

You can talk. Doesn't mean I'm listening. 

Well, I’ll make a deal with you, you keep your morals and your poverty and I’ll take a lifetime of comfort and ease.

Easy-peasy rice and cheesy. (Insert evil laugh here)

4. They’re straight up sexy

            Sorry. Had to be said. And for any guy currently reading this blog, get over it. Scruff and Silver is the way to go.

I'll play doctor with you any time, Patrick Dempsey

Geoffrey Zakarian can cook for me any time.

Yes, I know Ted Allen is gay but still...

Doc Rivers would be a lot more attractive if he could manage to win this playoff series

Jon Stewart is funny, attractive, AND patriotic? Sign me up!

I think you and I can both agree that this blog may not have been up to my usual standards of epicness. Then again, I don’t care. I was going to simply repost an old blog because I’m lazy (see item #3) but my evil roommates forced me to write a new one (without offering any helpful advice). So I pulled this out of thin air and what you see is what you get. If you have a problem with that, take it up with my Salt and Pepper Gentleman. He’ll show you what’s up.

PS please remember this is a joke and I am not in the market for a silver fox (mainly because Patrick Dempsey is married)

PPS don’t forget to come back on Friday for another "KB Loves This.”