Twice the Fun

Two of my roommates turned 21 this weekend.

Yes, I said “roommates” as in “more than one.” In fact, they are twins (or “Twinzies”, as they are known in the wild). Due to my extremely large reader base and the fact that I have a few rabid fans who would probably harm the twins should their identities become known, they will be referred to as “twins” for the remainder of this blog (this has nothing to do with the fact that sometimes I forget their names or mix them up)

My twins (I’ve lived with them for two years so it’s ok for me to call them that) are completely different though.

One is an Art History Major. One is a Chemistry major.

One has short hair. One has long hair.

One is cool. One is not. (I’ll let you guess which one)

In all seriousness, the twins are pretty cool—and when I say “cool,” I don’t mean “frigid” like “wow, she sure is a frigid bitch.” I’m talking “cool” like “hey, have you read KB Thinks For You? It’s pretty cool.”

In honor of their birthday and in lieu of a present, I’ve decided to make this spectacular list of some of my favorite twins—not including my own twins, of course.

Oh and before you judge me about not getting them a real birthday present and offering this pathetic blog as a gift instead:

1. If you think this blog is “pathetic,” maybe you should stop reading it and… GO F YOURSELF

2. I offered them some chocolate Drumsticks but they rejected me and my delicious Drumsticks

3. I didn’t have enough money to buy them real presents because I am as broke as our political system…oh snap!

So, it is with great pleasure that I offer my list of Top 5 Twins of ALL TIME

5. Tegan and Sara

Have you ever thought to yourself, “geez, I’m really craving some sweet indie music from Canadians who just happen to be identical twin sisters and are both lesbians?” Well today is your lucky day because Tegan and Sara fulfill each requirement. Not to mention their music rocks… right, Raeann? (FYI Raeann told me they’re “pretty good! Besides the fact that their voices make me want to rip my eyes out”) Look at their picture. You can tell they're indie and cool because they have that green stripe on their face and aren't looking at the camera.

4. Jenna and Barbara Bush

Remember when we had a president who had twin daughters who ran rampant around DC leaving death and destruction in their wake? Ah… those were good times. Sasha and Malia, if you’re reading this; step your game up!

3.Mary Kate and Ashley

I know some of you may disagree and say they deserve to be higher on my list but—frankly—I don’t really care what you think. They should be thankful that they are this high at all. I will readily admit that “Our Lips Are Sealed” is one of the Top 10 greatest movies of all time and the many Adventures of Mary Kate and Ashley are some cinematic gems but can we all be honest and admit that Michelle Tanner on Full House was terrible? The show has been off the air for years now so I think it’s completely ok that I say that she was my least favorite character and her oft quoted line “you got it, dude” made me want to stuff my head in the oven.

2. Those twins in that Disney Channel Original Movie Wish Upon A Star

Ok, I admit I probably should have done more research when writing this blog—like actually looking up what their names were—but I think we can all agree this movie was awesome. For those of you who have forgotten, there are two sisters who hate each other but inadvertently switch lives by—you guessed it—wishing on a star. Actually, come to think of it, I’m not sure these two were actually even twins. They might just have been sisters. Oh well. Let’s just pretend for the sake of this blog that they are twins (and let’s face it, the movie would have been a lot better if they had been) PS this is the one and only time I'll ever say I liked Katherine Heigl. The greatest day of my life was when she left Seattle Grace forever. Good riddance, Izzy Stevens.

1. Hallie Parker and Annie James

If you are scratching your head and asking yourself who these two are: SHAME ON YOU. They, of course, are the delightfully spunky twins separated at birth in the remake and infinitely better version of The Parent Trap. And yes, I know that there aren’t really two ginger twins running around but there is one Linsay Lohan with at least 5 times the normal amount of jail sentences so I think it all evens out. Plus, she gets props for playing two characters at the age of 11 (one of whom has a spot on British accent, old chap). Not to mention, the handshake in the movie is legit.

PS. How the F@$# did they take this picture?????? My mind is being f@^%*$ right now.