As a busy college student, I spend a good deal of my time in the library. As a matter of fact, I spent 10 hours there last Friday-Sunday #humblebrag (don’t worry, I’ll explain later). Also, as a busy college student spending this much time in the library with a computer, I tend to get distracted on ridiculous internet things.
Typically, I am the kind of person who hates to share things that I think are cool for fear that others will think they’re cool too. Once other people think things are cool, I am psychologically programmed to no longer find them cool/interesting/worth my time. (That’s why I will not tell you my favorite bands or movies. Once you like them, they will be forever tainted in my mind. Don't worry, it's not your fault that you suck)
This doesn’t apply to internet gems, though. I actually enjoy showing people new things on the internet because I love the ego boost I get from people saying, “Oh my God! I really love (fill in the blank). Thanks so much for showing it to me! You always find the best stuff!” So here are the top 5 things you need to be checking out online (you’re welcome)
5. YouPorn
Free amateur and professional porn! What’s not to love! Plus you can send in your own!
JUST KIDDING. I just wanted to make sure I had your attention. Here’s the real list:
5. Your Kid's Art Sucks http://yourkidsartsucks.com/
Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t really have the best relationship with children. Sure, there are some great ones but most of them make my want to rip my ovaries out with my bare hands to make sure I never have to deal with one of my own. Anyway, this website looks at little Billy’s drawings and gives them hilarious—albeit harsh—reviews.
This picture’s review: “What they hell am I supposed to do with this besides try to figure out why there is a ghost going through a girl’s tragically bowed legs? I guess I can point out your moon looks like a croissant and those shoes would only make sense in Holland, but I think this drawing has enough not going on for it that it makes pointing those things out senseless.”
4. Hipster Hitler http://hipsterhitler.com/
Inappropriate? Maybe. Offensive? Possibly. Hilarious? Definitely. This online comic re-envisions Adolf Hitler as a Hipster and dresses him in delightfully inappropriate graphic t-shirts—my favorite is “Death Camp For Cutie”—which are available for purchase on their website.
3. Damn You Auto Correct! http://www.damnyouautocorrect.com/
I know some of you have probably heard of this before but if you haven’t, shame on you. We all love predictive texting, right? If I can make a solid spelling attempt at a word that is way beyond my spelling abilities, my blackberry can fix it to the right word without me having to do anything! It doesn’t always get the right word though and hilarious hijinks ensue. DYAC displays some of the best. Ps most of these seem to come from iPhone users and most of them are autocorrected to really dirty things. I’m not saying blackberry is better but MY phone didn’t change “cat” to “cock” so…
2. Pop Hangover http://pophangover.com/
I’m not really sure how to describe this site other than to say it’s a virtual gumbo of funny pictures. They essentially search the internet to find funny/ridiculous things and then post them… for your pleasure. (FYI most of the stuff they have is hilarious but check out the “Picdump” section for the biggest laughs)
1. Humblebrag on Twitter
If you aren’t on Twitter already, you really need to do it ASAP if for no other reason than so you can check out humblebrag. The basic concept of a humble brag is saying something with the intent of sounding humble which in reality is just a brag. For instance, “It’s so hard writing a good blog every week because there are just such high expectations!” Anyway, humblebrag on twitter searches various celebrity tweets for humblebrags then posts them for the world to see.
Here are some more awesome examples of humblebrags:
@TheFray “Just caught myself driving around denver just listening to the radio waiting to hear how my new single sounds.... I'm a nerd. –joe”
@fucktyler (aka Tyler, the Creator) “I Hope They Don't Ask For A Photo. I Just Wanna Buy This Movie A Go On With My Day, Cause Then 50 More People Will Ak For One. Fuck”
Check them out. They will make your day. Although they will then ruin your life because everything out of your mouth will sound like a humblebrag…
I hope you guys enjoy these internet gems but don’t forget the best thing on the internet… KB Thinks For You!
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