Even though there is basically a full month left of 2012, I
keep seeing BEST OF lists. I figured, why not jump on the bandwagon and
actually give people a BEST OF list they would actually like.
With no further ado, I present the DEFINITIVE KATIE BUHLER,
DON’T EVEN BOTHER WITH OTHER BEST OFS, BEST OF 2012 LIST
Best movie
Perks of Being a
Wallflower. Emma Watson, Logan Lerman, Paul Rudd, Nina Dobrev, Kate Walsh
and weird skinny kid who stole the show? What’s not to love. Saw the movie
twice and cried both times. That’s two more times than I cried in all of 2011.
Best terrible movie
Twilight. I know
I’ve talked a lot of sh!t about Twilight
but that’s only because I think it is a terrible plot that has been executed
terribly with terrible actors. Also, if you’re going to do vampires, don’t make
them f@cking sparkle. I saw the last Twilight
movie and I loved it. It was unintentionally the funniest movie I saw all year.
I’m not even trying to be pretentious here talking about it’s lack of merits as
a film. It literally is hilarious. I highly recommend watching. SPOILER ALERT:
there is a big scene at the end that I was smiling ear to ear about… until I
found out it was a “dream”
Best television show
Parks and Recreation.
If you’re not watching this show, I don’t know what’s wrong with you. All I
should have to tell you is that Amy Poehler is in it but if that’s not enough
for you, check out this clip.
Best new television show
Scandal. A
powerful African American woman? Check. Seedy affairs at the White House? Check.
Ruthless chiefs of staff and first wives? Check. Assassination attempts? Check.
Voter fraud? Check. Best/most addictive show ever? Check.
Best cliffhanger
The Vampire Diaries.
Yeah, I watch The Vampire Diaries. So
what? It’s awesome. It’s all the soapy teen-angst I loved about Dawson’s Creek with the added element of
multiple deaths per episode. It’s really the perfect situation for me. Plus,
the season ended with one of the main characters making a terrible mistake
(*cough* should’ve picked Damon *cough*) and then driving off a bridge only to
die before… wait for it… waking up as a vampire. Thank God. She was the like
the worst human ever.
I don't know why it's such a hard concept for her but she never wipes the blood off her face
Best worst cliffhanger
Grey’s Anatomy. As
a long time Grey’s fan, I’m used to
having that heartless show-runner Shonda Rhimes rip my heart out time after time but this
season she really hit below the belt by having the majority of the main
characters get into a plane wreck and then killing one of my all time favorites
(RIP Lexipedia). Plus, when the new season picked up she killed off another
person, made McDreamy lose his ability to use his hands, and then chopped off
Arizona’s leg. She is heartless. And I love it.
Best book
Who am I kidding? I didn’t read any new book this year
except for 50 Shades of Grey and I’ll
be damned if I give that a “Best Book” nod.
Best worst book
50 Shades of Grey.
I’ve already gone into detail about why I think this book is trash (hint: it’s
not because of the steamy sex) Anastasia is the worst female “heroine” in the
last 50 years. She gets walked all over, lets herself get talked into
situations she is uncomfortable with, and thinks it’s acceptable to say things
like “why can’t I handle a little more pain for my man.” The moral of the story
is that she sucks.
Best new Internet addiction
Suri's Burn Book. When my roommate showed this to me,
I spent the next 3 hours reading every post and laughing hysterically. Imagine
this, Suri Cruise, child of TomKat (RIP), writes a blog about the other
Hollywood children and just mercilessly blasts them for their fashion sense.
Take, for instance, yesterday’s post about news that the Beckham’s might be
moving back to England: “They
better do it fast before they have to buy two plane tickets for Harper’s
thighs.” Harper is the Beckham's year old daughter.
She
is also cruel to Violet and Seraphina Affleck: “Could someone please get
Seraphina Affleck a ponytail holder and some self-respect?”
And she completely writes off the Jolie-Pitt clan: “I’ve always suspected that dining
with the Jolie-Pitts would be a little like a prison riot, but I never imagined
it would be this bad. Meanwhile,
the Jolie-Pitt children have already gotten in their letters to Santa.
According to a postal worker in the English countryside, “It was so cute. All
the children sent messages to Father Christmas and were absolutely beautifully
behaved.” Either she just saw a pack
of dirty peasants and assumed they were the Jolie-Pitts, or these kids know how
to turn on the charm for Santa. Not that I don’t know a little bit about
modifying behavior in order to get presents, but … ugh, these kids are terrible
and I hope they have an awful Christmas.”
Basically, Suri’s Burn Book
is the greatest thing ever invented and I highly recommend you check it out.
Best food
Corn Nuggets. I really only included this category because I
recently had corn nuggets and they changed my life. Corn nuggets are just
frozen creamed corn that has been breaded and deep fried so the inside thaws.
Go find them somewhere. You won’t regret it (your waist-line might though)
Best drink
Mountain Dew. Duh.
Best comeback
President Obama. He was really the only logical choice after
he managed to get re-elected after not even showing up for the first debate. I
mean, I’m not convinced that wasn’t just an Obama cardboard cut out up there.
Good for him for turning it around. (And obviously when I say “turning it
around” I mean “rigging the election through backroom dealings and ballots that
had been tampered with”)
Best downward spiral
Angus T. Jones. I’ve never watched more than 10 minutes of Two and a Half Men because it is
basically the television version of Twilight
in terms of quality but I was forced to pay attention to this child actor with
this ridiculous name when he started running his mouth off. I respect that he’s now “found God” but it’s probably not the best idea to start bashing the place that
gives you money for being “filth” (seriously, he’s the highest paid child star on TV) Probably also not a good idea to tell people to stop watching it. But,
hey, that’s just my opinion. Can’t wait for his sex tape and drug arrests to
happen. Who’s ready for the male version of Linsay Lohan?!?
Best celebrity
Jennifer Lawrence. I’m going to be honest, I’ve never seen a
single movie that she’s been in but I have seen some of her interviews and she
is hilarious. I don't know if she's actually this "down to earth", but she does a
pretty convincing impression of it.
Best celebrity I want to run over
Justin Bieber. WHY IS HE STILL RELAVENT? It’s not like
anyone actually liked him for his talent because outside of hair flipping and
ridiculously predictable pop songs he has none. I have to assume we only wanted
him for a teen heartthrob but now that One Direction is here, we’ve got it
covered. There are 5 to choose from AND they are British. Justin Bieber, you
can go back to Canada now.
Best song
“Closer” by Tegan and Sara. Oh, surprise, surprise. I picked
a Tegan and Sara song. It’s well established that I love them and now they have
the best new pop song (move over Carly Rae). If you say you don’t like this
song, you’re either lying or living under the rock of hipster-dom where you can’t
like anything that sounds too “mainstream.” For the rest of you, enjoy pure
poppy goodness.
Best WTF IS THIS song
“Gangnam Style” by Psy. I’m sorry. I’ve watched the video
twice now and I still do not understand why it is the most watched video in
youtube history. Am I the only one who has noticed he’s not even singing in
English?!? That might be alright for all you multi-lingual types but I have no
idea what the hell he’s saying or what “gangnam style” even is. If someone
wants to explain it to me, great but until then… I’ll be listening to anything
BUT this.
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