Kids Say the Darndest Things

I’ve had the idea to write down some of the awesome quotes kids say to us at the pool for a really long time but I’ve been hesitant to put them in a blog because I’m not sure how well they’ll translate without actually being able to see the kid. But here goes nothing.

Going on a Trip

Little Andre did not like swimming lessons. Little Andre tried every excuse he could to get out of lessons. Here’s my favorite:

Andre: I have to leave early.

Katie: Why?

Andre: I have to go somewhere.

Katie: Where do you have to go?

Andre: (pause) Away.

Mathematically Challenged

Girl: How much is a candy bar?

Katie: 75 cents.

Girl: Can I get a Twix?

Katie: You only have 50 cents.

Girl: How much do I need?

Katie: 75 cents.

Girl: So I need one more quarter?

Katie: Yes.

Girl: How much are Snickers?

Katie: 75 cents.

Girl: Ok, can I just have a Snickers then?

Big Dreams

Each day, we ask questions during attendance at swimming lessons about the kids to keep them interested. This gem comes from one of Raeann’s classes this week.

Raeann: Jacie, what do you want to be when you grow up?

Jacie: Um. One of those people, you know those people who help people when they get hurt and they go get them. I don’t know what it’s called.

Raeann: You want to help people in ambulances?

Jackie: No. I just want to put them on to ambulances. I want to just be a helper.

Real World Concerns

Some Friday mornings we give pool tours to 4 and 5 year olds who are in Summer Rec’s Safety Town. And during every tour, we stress the importance of having a “fun and safe” time at the pool. After going over pool rules at the end of the tour, I made the mistake of asking the kids if they had any questions.

Girl 1: If—if you—if you push someone on the slippery water they will hit their head and die.

Girl 2: You can never jump in.

Girl 3: Only grown ups can go in the deep.

Boy 1: If you run you can cut your head open.

Katie: Ok. We only have time for one more question.

Boy 2: But what if I don’t have a fun time at the pool?

Favorite Sport

Katie: Jasmine, what’s your favorite sport?

Jasmine: (blank look)

Katie: Jasmine, what’s your favorite sport?

Jasmine: Sport ball.

Katie: What’s sport ball?

Jasmine: I don’t know.

Give it the Old College Try

Sometimes, asking a child nicely to try something can backfire as Heather learned the other day.

Heather: Come on! You can do it! Can you put your face in for me one time?

Child: I would rather not.

Close Guesses

It’s always fun to ask kids how old they think you are. Please note, Raeann and I were 15 and 17, respectively, when this happened.

Raeann: How old do you think I am?

Kid: Um… 27!

Raeann: How old do you think Katie is?

Kid: 12.

Quality or Quantity?

Leeam: I like dolphins.

Lexi: How much do you like dolphins, Leeam?

Leeam: 87.

Quick Fire Questions

Weston: Who killed the radio star?

Leeam: Michael Jackson!

Raeann: What’s your favorite drink?

6 Year Old: Beer.

(Same kid, next day)

Blood!

Weston: Who’s the president of the United States?

Leeam: Abraham Lincoln!

After this all, I’m a little disappointed that these are the only ones I can remember! In the however many endless years I’ve been teaching lessons I know I’ve heard some pretty good statements. For the rest of the summer I vow to write down any and all amusing stories/statements that I hear come out of a kid’s mouth and at the end, we’ll have a “Best of…” blog. Until then, keep your ears open when you’re around children.