It's
been exactly a month and a day since I graduating and just a little less than a
month since I flew out of NY. Not that I don't love South Dakota, but there are
certain things I definitely miss (other than my roommates)
Last
semester, I had to write a list of the top 10 things I love about NY and the
top 10 things I wanted to change. Now, almost a year and a one-way ticket to
South Dakota later, I find these are the same things I miss (and the same
things I can definitely do without)
Top
10 Things That Need to Change
10. Something needs to be done about the
pigeon problem. They are fearless.
9. Agree on a standard price for a
piece of pizza. I can’t handle the 2 dollar slices here, 5 dollar slices there
thing any longer
8. Cut the wires to the speakers of
Fordham Rd shops. I don’t want to hear “Free phone! Free phone! Come inside for
a free phone!” at a shockingly high decibel level all day long
7. Make a 3 second honking limit. Those
minute long blasts are killing me
6. Do something about fixing the
potholes. Any time I’m in a vehicle I feel as though my head is about to go
through the roof or I’m taking off on a NASA mission
5. Get rid of horse drawn carriages.
Not only do the horses look clinically depressed, the smell of manure doesn’t
add to the city’s ambiance.
4. Much like roads are divided into bus
lanes and car lanes, split sidewalks into areas for fast walkers and for slow
walkers to save us all a lot of time
3. Get some underground cell service.
This is the city that never sleeps in the greatest country in the world in the
21st century and you’re telling me I can’t send a text from 15 ft
under the ground?
2. Exterminate the bear-sized subway
rats
1. Get rid of the dirty diaper smell
that assaults my nostrils while walking the streets
Top 10 Things I Love About New York
10. The Knicks are good enough to keep
things interesting without being good enough to beat the Celtics
Mama Allen talking crap to Spike Lee
9. I can eat food from 10 different countries
without leaving the block (although, who am I kidding, I want a burger)
8. I can be serenaded by a jazz trio without
having to pay for it in Central Park
7. If someone doesn’t like you, they’re going
to tell you—loudly
6. As a pedestrian, streets lights are more
like suggestions
5. There’s always the chance that you’ll see
someone famous wandering the streets in their best
conspicuous-but-pretending-to-be-inconspicuous clothing
4. Multiple locations of Whole Paycheck—wait,
I mean Whole Foods
3. Fire escapes make any building look at
least 15 times cooler
2. My soul can be saved by a subway preacher
in the time it takes to get from 161st St to Columbus Circle
1.
Any time I see a stoop I want to yell “Stoop Kid’s afraid to leave the stoop”
and make any number of other Hey Arnold! references
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