Coffee: TV's Largest Conspiracy

I know I’ve gone on some fairly ridiculous rants here on KB Thinks for You but this might be the most ridiculous one ever.

I’ve been watching a fair amount of television lately including two shows that I’ve never really watched before, NCIS and Castle. These two shows have a lot in common; they both solve murders, they both have a smart-ass (Castle, Dinozzo), and they both consume a lot of coffee.

And it’s the coffee thing that drives me nuts and has ever since I watched Lorelai and Rory down cup after cup on Gilmore Girls.

I KNOW THERE ISN’T ANY LIQUID IN THAT CUP! DON’T TRY TO FOOL ME!!! 

Take Luke pouring coffee into Lorelai’s cup. He pours for about 2 seconds which is nowhere near enough to fill up the whole cup and the Lorelai takes a tiny sip of… NOTHING. Because the cup was basically empty. I mean, look at how blatantly empty that cup is! It makes me question everything else that happens on this show

Styrofoam coffee containers are a whole different brand of hell for me. Yes, I can’t see how empty the cup is BUT… every time someone sets their cup down, I can hear that it’s empty. Every time that someone waves their coffee around and uses it to gesture, I can TELL that it’s empty. I mean, who waves a full cup off coffee around like that?

No one! because it would spill! And as much money as people put into making these television shows look real, you think they could put in 5 seconds or so to make sure that the coffee isn’t just a blatant prop.

Look at show like NCIS. They go to all the work of having horribly realistic murder scenes and explosions but can’t splurge to put some actual liquid in the cup? Helpful hint: turn the music way down or off on this clip. The music sucks and is way too loud. But don't let that distract you from the fact that the cup he is waving around over and over is as light as a feather.

Same with Castle. He brings Beckett coffee every day but everyday I notice how he walks way too quickly to be holding a full cup of coffee. Also, for the most blatant example of empty-cup syndrome, look at the scene at 1:02. As much as I love this show, that moment right there almost makes me want to take a coffee grinder to my brain. I also recommend you don't listen to this song either. It is flat out terrible.

And yes, I am aware how absolutely crazy this rant is but I can’t explain how much it drives me nuts when I see this in episode after episode of television. Seriously, next time you watch TV, look out for the coffee. I’m convinced it’s part of a massive conspiracy to make Americans insane.