Don't You Forget About Me

One of my all-time favorite movies is The Breakfast Club.

Yes, yes, I know I’m supposed to pick Ferris Bueller’s Day Off as my favorite John Hughes movie but frankly, I’m a little sick of the whole “Buhler? Buhler? Ferris Buhler?” joke.

 We're not laughing.

There is just something about The Breakfast Club that I love. Maybe it’s the iconic sprinting-through-hallways-which-had-apparently-just-been-greased scene.

 Seriously, what floor is this slippery?

Maybe it’s the always-underrated Ally Sheedy and her gloriously repulsive dandruff move.

Or maybe it’s all of us pretending a ginger could be popular (just kidding to any ginger readers of this blog. Please don’t suck my soul)

 I'm so cool that I eat lukewarm sushi for lunch in detention.

Even with this un-paralleled awesomeness, there are a few things that really bother me about this movie.

First of all, these crimes are all across the board yet they all merit a Saturday detention? Molly Ringwald skipped class to go shopping while Anthony Michael Hall brought a flare gun to school. How are those two crimes comparable? Molly should have, at most, gotten after school detention or been forced to give up that terrible brown skirt. On the other hand, Anthony brought a weapon to school. How about we send him to counseling or suspend him or something?

 Ok, really? What's the deal with that skirt?

Secondly, what kind of detention has no adult supervision? You have some pretty serious juvenile delinquents here—including Judd Nelson who has a knife in his boot—and you leave them locked in a library all day by themselves? While Vernon is in his office playing with his food Judd Nelson is destroying the library, both girls are getting deflowered, and everyone is smoking weed.

I’m sure if I really searched my brain I could find some other stuff that drives me nuts about that movie but, I’ve really got to go (they just found a flare gun in my locker and I have to spend my Saturday in detention).

I’ll leave you with the immortal words of the nerdiest kid of the movie (the one who is stuck writing an essay in the library while his other four compatriots are getting it on in other locations of the school)

 And he wonders why he's the one stuck writing the essay

“Dear Mr. Vernon… We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was that we did wrong. What we did WAS wrong. But we think you’re crazy to make us writhe this essay telling you who we think we are, what do you care? You see us as you want to see us… in the simplest terms and the most convenient definitions. You see us as a brain, and athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal. Correct? That’s the way we saw each other at seven o’clock this morning. We were brainwashed.”

Also, whatever happened to Emilio Estevez?

If found, please return to Hollywood. I think we're about due for another Mighty Ducks movie.